Modesty - Kyum Soen

Modesty requires us not to put ourselves in front of others, take more than what we need, flaunt what we have achieved, or use our gifts to bully or manipulate others.

Modesty is the first act of wisdom that takes other into account. If we apply mushim, innae, geugki, jajeh continuously in our lives, we may then see modest advances in our relationships with others. Taking into consideration how hard it is to practice the first four words of wisdom ourselves, we must be reasonable in what we can expect from others.

This is an important point in itself. We mustn't be unrealistic in our expectations of how a relationship (student/teacher, business, friendship, or romantic) can progress. More on this when we discuss joen gyung (respect).

The best martial art students talk less and listen more. They show less and practice more. The practice of modesty in martial arts connects one with appropriate use of our energies. Do we really need to say what we were about to say? Did we need to hit our training partner that hard? Who really benefited from that interaction we just had?

Let me give a concrete example or two:

1. You decide to demonstrate a self-defense technique to the class. Will this help students understand and be able to execute the technique better or will it be discouraging and difficult to follow? Do you plan to break it down for students or did you do it to show off or just get the practice?

2. You notice a student seems unmotivated and lacks any power in her technique, so you admonish her for lack of effort, and then kick her target to show her what real power looks and feels like. Did you do this out of frustration that the student was not displaying effort and power? Does showing your own power necessarily translate into a students accessing their own? Did you investigate to what is going on with student?

When we are modest, we do not waste energy. We use what we have and we refuse to covet what other have.