The flip side of modesty is respect. As you make sure not to take more than you need , make sure that you allow for the differences between yourself and others. Different ways that we process, store, and communicate information make us seemingly very different creatures. We may have great differences in the way we see the world, but we can respect even our greatest enemies and through this respect strengthen our own position.
Respect precludes that we do not have to be correct! Righteousness should not be used as justification for greediness. Modesty and respect can resolve at least 80% of conflicts. When our will pushes into another's will, it like deciding to invade a foreign land and must be done with full justification.
Sparring is a great opportunity to explore protecting our own boundaries, yet not abusing our sparring partner. Using modesty and respect will help you to become a victor and respected martial artist.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
Modesty - Kyum Soen
Modesty requires us not to put ourselves in front of others, take more than what we need, flaunt what we have achieved, or use our gifts to bully or manipulate others.
Modesty is the first act of wisdom that takes other into account. If we apply mushim, innae, geugki, jajeh continuously in our lives, we may then see modest advances in our relationships with others. Taking into consideration how hard it is to practice the first four words of wisdom ourselves, we must be reasonable in what we can expect from others.
This is an important point in itself. We mustn't be unrealistic in our expectations of how a relationship (student/teacher, business, friendship, or romantic) can progress. More on this when we discuss joen gyung (respect).
The best martial art students talk less and listen more. They show less and practice more. The practice of modesty in martial arts connects one with appropriate use of our energies. Do we really need to say what we were about to say? Did we need to hit our training partner that hard? Who really benefited from that interaction we just had?
Let me give a concrete example or two:
1. You decide to demonstrate a self-defense technique to the class. Will this help students understand and be able to execute the technique better or will it be discouraging and difficult to follow? Do you plan to break it down for students or did you do it to show off or just get the practice?
2. You notice a student seems unmotivated and lacks any power in her technique, so you admonish her for lack of effort, and then kick her target to show her what real power looks and feels like. Did you do this out of frustration that the student was not displaying effort and power? Does showing your own power necessarily translate into a students accessing their own? Did you investigate to what is going on with student?
When we are modest, we do not waste energy. We use what we have and we refuse to covet what other have.
Modesty is the first act of wisdom that takes other into account. If we apply mushim, innae, geugki, jajeh continuously in our lives, we may then see modest advances in our relationships with others. Taking into consideration how hard it is to practice the first four words of wisdom ourselves, we must be reasonable in what we can expect from others.
This is an important point in itself. We mustn't be unrealistic in our expectations of how a relationship (student/teacher, business, friendship, or romantic) can progress. More on this when we discuss joen gyung (respect).
The best martial art students talk less and listen more. They show less and practice more. The practice of modesty in martial arts connects one with appropriate use of our energies. Do we really need to say what we were about to say? Did we need to hit our training partner that hard? Who really benefited from that interaction we just had?
Let me give a concrete example or two:
1. You decide to demonstrate a self-defense technique to the class. Will this help students understand and be able to execute the technique better or will it be discouraging and difficult to follow? Do you plan to break it down for students or did you do it to show off or just get the practice?
2. You notice a student seems unmotivated and lacks any power in her technique, so you admonish her for lack of effort, and then kick her target to show her what real power looks and feels like. Did you do this out of frustration that the student was not displaying effort and power? Does showing your own power necessarily translate into a students accessing their own? Did you investigate to what is going on with student?
When we are modest, we do not waste energy. We use what we have and we refuse to covet what other have.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
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